women funny english joke

A pathan for an exam had studied only one essay ‘FRIEND’,

but in the exam the essay which came was ‘FATHER’ .

He replaced friend with father in the essay and it read.....

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect and they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place and as she shows him around.
He notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it is so extensive but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I have not been shopping, all the dishes are dirty and I do not feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."